


Irreparably Broken

by talonyth



Series: prompted [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, bc we all know i like kagehinas fighting as much i love them holding hands, it's kagehinas fighting again, no notes this time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-17
Updated: 2014-06-17
Packaged: 2018-02-05 21:49:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1833451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talonyth/pseuds/talonyth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They have always been together, Kageyama and Hinata. But it only takes a few words to break a relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Irreparably Broken

"Not playing, huh?"

This is the last thing Hinata wants to hear. Of course he is not playing. Of course he isn’t on the starting order. Again. There is no need to spell it out, and not like that either. He knows that it’s unreasonable to be mad at Kageyama but he is. 

"Yeah, you couldn’t care less about that, I know. As always, you’re on the starting order. …Congratulations," Hinata almost spits and he hates himself for it.

There is no reason to lash out on Kageyama. He hasn’t done anything wrong. If he should blame anyone, Hinata knows, he should blame himself for not working hard enough. But the frustration of weeks training after an injury have driven him insane, and all for nothing. In the past, he would have been excited that others are better than him; it would just mean he still has a goal to strive after. But having been on top already - and Hinata was, together with Kageyama and their team - just to fall back on his ass again because of a tiny injury, something that wasn’t even worth mentioning… It’s not an excuse, and if it were, it would be a bad one but it’s the only explanation he has for physically not being able to shut up even though he doesn’t want to say that. And he feels it’s going to be more hurtful if Kageyama doesn’t turn around to leave him be. 

Unfortunately, he doesn’t. 

"If you have the energy to be this upset about it, you should have given more," he replies calmly.

If there is one thing Hinata loves about Kageyama, it is how honest and straight forward he is. On many occasions that saved his entire well-being. But if Hinata has to say he hates a part about Kageyama, it would be the same. He doesn’t know when to keep quiet because sometimes that honesty is misplaced. 

"There is no ‘more’ I can give. This is all I still have in me. Sucks, right?"

"That’s not true. I know there is. You simply have to—-"

"To what? Jump higher? Move faster? Strike harder? Don’t order me around."

Hinata doesn’t dare looking at Kageyama. He doesn’t dare breathing. How vile. How low. How utterly ugly. The words dripped like venom over his lips and they make him feel sick. Attacking Kageyama with things from the past, things that have long lost their meaning or they should have but judging by Kageyama’s silence, by his vibrating breath and by the endless seconds that pass without Hinata realizing, they haven’t. 

"Of all people…"

Kageyama’s voice sounds horrifying in Hinata’s ears and he wants it to end. He wants it to stop. He wants to go back and rip his own tongue out for spitting things like those at him. It’s not Kageyama’s fault he ended up benched. Nothing of this is his fault. This is just a childish act of envy as if Kageyama has gotten a toy Hinata has always wanted. 

They played together in high school, in college and even now, in a professional team. They have achieved so much together, won and lost together, cried and laughed together. Just because he didn’t do well for a few months after years and years of success next to Kageyama…

He bites his lip so hard that the iron taste of his blood lingers on his tongue as Kageyama’s voice sounds again. 

“‘You simply have to take your time. After an injury, you can’t expect to come back at full strength all of a sudden.’ was what I was going to say. But you seem to know better. I trust you. I know you can do more than this. I wouldn’t say it otherwise.”

Kageyama looks straight at him but Hinata can’t reciprocate. He stares at the poster with the names of the starting order written on them, blankly. Even at such a time, Kageyama is like this. Honest and straight forward. Hinata knows that there is no one who trusts him more than Kageyama, probably more than he trusts himself. 

"But it’s good to know… that this is the person you think I still am. Of all people who could have that perception of me, it hurts the most that it is you thinking that."

For the first time, Hinata turns his head around to look at Kageyama and sees slumped shoulders and a small back turning to him. The last time he saw that, the last time he saw Kageyama so tiny, so small that he could be overlooked was way back when they weren’t even friends yet. When it was Tsukishima saying spiteful things and reminding Kageyama of a past he never quite learnt to cope with. 

He reaches out to grab Kageyama’s arm but it is forcefully ripped away. 

"Kageya—-"

"Don’t fucking touch me," Kageyama hisses and shoots a glare back to Hinata that pierces through him like a thousand arrows, more so because his tone wasn’t angry. Not furious. He was trying not to cry in disappointment and frustration. 

Kageyama turns away again and Hinata is left behind, watching Kageyama’s small, small back disappear into the dark halls as his arm sinks slowly. 

For the first time, he thinks he might not be able to fix their relationship.


End file.
